Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
