i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
