i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
