I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's shark week go big or go home
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
