How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
