Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
