I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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