what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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