omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
