I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
