Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
