..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
