pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
did you just send me my own nude
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sobbing to NWA
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
