Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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