it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
