is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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