At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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