Will you blow on my dice?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
