You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
