My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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