some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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