i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
