Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
did i walk over a car last night?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
