you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
