i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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