i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
