Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
