Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
