ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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