After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
