what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
