So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
