running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
