am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
