Kiss
Puke
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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