He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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