Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
