I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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