just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
