im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
