when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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