Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
