The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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