I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
