Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
