Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
