he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
