Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
