I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
