So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
